worried...... well, ok, i'll admit it, scared

ok, so yesterday really wasn't so bad at all. i absolutely love my grandparents and my great aunt and my aunt and uncle and cousin. i wish my other cousin could've come, but he couldn't. but they really made things feel better, there was still a little tension at first, but they are all such jokesters things relaxed pretty quickly. but anyway...... so something happened in the middle of the day that scared me. and seriously, i don't really scare that easily, i tend to downplay things, and things may worry me, but i don't really get scared too often. maybe that's a weakness of mine, i don't know, but this does scare me....... and i just can't talk about it with people...... i don't know why, specially cuz most everyone who reads this knows already. well...... ok.... let me think..... everyone except one. that i know of anyway. my sister knows, duh, don't know if her bf reads, prolly not, but he prolly knows something about it, Datsrerdly knows at least a little, in any case, i've mentioned it a few times, another friend who reads, i've told her a few times...... so only one other doesn't know...... i think.... and i'm a wuss, so i've never talked about it, but i need to. if you know who you are, next time i talk with you, make me tell you, don't let me pass it over. but of course i'm not going to say anything on here about it... cuz that's the stupid way i am. but because of it, my parents have softened up toward me, which is good. i guess. grr. i actually need to finish up, i have like half an hour to eat something and get ready to go to work. working another 6 hour shift, which i don't really like, but this time it will (hopefully) not be as busy as the other two days i worked this week. oh yeah, forgot, the clock on my site is messed up, i don't know what time it says i'm posting this, it seems to change every time, but it's really just after 11, i work from 12-6, grr, need that time to practice....