well then, so, been having rather strange mood swings lately. ha, like my last update, as you could prolly tell, i was kinda depressed. but then later i was laughing and goofy again. i think too much, i overanalyze and second guess and everything, and then i get all confused and messed up, and end up just kinda depressed. but anyway, wish sometimes i could make my mind shut up, it’s just annoying sometimes =) hehehe! so then, i played the Bach Preludio in church on Sunday, didn’t go as well as it could’ve, but i guess it was ok. the funny thing is tho, everyone was coming up to me afterward telling me how amazing it was, how well i played, talking to me about where was i looking for college, and of course i’m doing music aren’t i. and i guess it’s finally at the point where everyone who has watched me grow up are finally seeing that i’m not a crazy little wild thing anymore. (well........ *ahem* shut up! don’t say a word!) everyone was saying how much i’ve grown up, i look so old and mature now, they had to do a double take when they looked at me, or they put their glasses on to make sure it was me, stuff like that. it was kinda cool, but a little embarrassing. haha, usually, when people who’ve watched you grow up say how “big you look” or “so grown up” they mean more like, aw, so cute, and she’s getting bigger, aw, just look at her, still a little girl no matter what. that sort of thing, but now they’re talking to me like a real person, more like an adult, it’s awesome! but the scarey thing is, once i’m graduated and set for college, all these adults are gonna tell me to call em by their first name! i can’t do that! just, no, i can’t! but let’s not think too far ahead. ok. anhoo, what was i gonna say......... i think i had something else........ mind is total blank..... it usually is...... why does it do that, so annoying. grawr. meh. hm...... what has happened since my last post...... er, hm...... i had a pretty busy day yesterday, violin lesson in the morning, then work in the afternoon. don’t really have any stories tho. sadness. it was a fun day, work is always fun, but nothing that really stands out that i could talk about. which means i should stop rambling about nothingness now. haha, oh, ok, so, i think my Dad is starting to realize that i’m getting older, that i’m a girl, and that guys are noticing me now, and he doesn’t like it, and i think he’s kinda in denial about it. he doesn’t like having guys calling me, he’ll bring me the phone with that fatherly look that says, *sigh* i really don’t like this. and says to me, “Rachel, i don’t like all these guys calling you”, and “why are all these guys calling you” and stuff like that. i think it’s just hard on him, mostly cuz he’s still getting used to the fact that my sister has a boyfriend, and that she’s not going to be his much longer. and then to see that i’m not his little baby girl anymore, he doesn’t like that, and refuses to see it. ha, he has no idea what i’ve gone thru, and the fact that a lot of guys like me, and have asked me out. i don’t know what he’d say if he knew that. i think i will forever be his baby little girl in his mind. but oh well. i can’t really help that, considering everything that’s happened, i guess i’ll always be looked at in a different light than any of my siblings, in a more protective light. ok, enough o’ dat, need to stop rambling. ha, but i can’t, it’s too much a part of me, never stop rambling! ever! haha! gosh, i need sleep....... i’m going insane! ok not really..... but i still need sleep. wish i still had nap time....... that’s prolly the thing i miss the most about being young, having a nap time, altho i hated it then, funny how that works, in’nt it?