sleep.........

do you know how amazingly wonderful it is to get 10+ hours of sleep in a nite? oh i feel so wonderful now! except now i have nothing more to say.... hm........ well, no work today, or tomorrow, going to a recital tonite, gonna be fun! you know what, i've been thinking lately, why is it that sometimes, i can put everything in the world in type, other times i can't put a single thing.... why is it that sometimes i can say so much on the phone, other times i can't........ why is it that in person sometimes i can say so much, and other times nothing? why am i such a complicated mess? it's weird, don't like it. at least last nite i finally opened up more at work, was really more myself and crazy, it was fun! people really do think im so quiet....... cuz i usually am there...... and everywhere else too i guess, i don't know why it's so hard for me to open up to people and let them see who i am. i thought i was getting better about that, but i feel like i'm closing in again, or something. stop it! grr. i need to go back to youth group, really hope i can go next week, BETTER not be scheduled for work! if i am, i will have to try my utmost to get a switch with someone. anyway. i'm actually allowed on the internet a lot today, cuz of work stuff i'm doing, so i'm posting this a lot earlier than usual. and i've been on AIM a lot, had an, er, interesting conversation with a good friend, such a brat! hahaha! no really, i have fun, here are a few bits so you can get an idea:
zukukataxrenarka (11:48:36 AM): brat......... lol
benofsherwood (11:48:43 AM): evil
zukukataxrenarka (11:49:08 AM): you know what, for some reason, people at work don't believe that i'm evil........
zukukataxrenarka (11:49:11 AM): hahaha
benofsherwood (11:49:26 AM): I should go in and tell them
zukukataxrenarka (11:49:47 AM): HA! that would be sooooo funny!
zukukataxrenarka (11:49:52 AM): oh dear......
benofsherwood (11:50:01 AM): what??
zukukataxrenarka (11:50:36 AM): just thinking if such a thing happened...... gosh, specially cuz several of the guys like.... um, like me, as in want to go out with me......
benofsherwood (11:50:53 AM): lol
benofsherwood (11:51:13 AM): why you??
zukukataxrenarka (11:51:21 AM): hey!
zukukataxrenarka (11:51:24 AM): hehehe
zukukataxrenarka (11:51:27 AM): well fine then
benofsherwood (11:51:39 AM): I will have to have a talk with them
zukukataxrenarka (11:51:49 AM): why........ about what..........
benofsherwood (11:52:02 AM): abotu how they should not go out with you
benofsherwood (11:52:09 AM): about**
zukukataxrenarka (11:52:24 AM): you know...... you........ grrrrr!
benofsherwood (11:52:34 AM): hehehe

zukukataxrenarka (12:12:48 PM): but i'm watching a movie.......
benofsherwood (12:13:00 PM): what movie??
zukukataxrenarka (12:13:07 PM): a Walk to Remember
benofsherwood (12:13:23 PM): that movie....uhg
zukukataxrenarka (12:13:31 PM): what!
zukukataxrenarka (12:13:38 PM): it makes me cry!
benofsherwood (12:13:46 PM): stupid movie to match your intelect
benofsherwood (12:13:48 PM): lol
benofsherwood (12:13:50 PM): jk
zukukataxrenarka (12:13:55 PM): YOOOUUUUUU!
zukukataxrenarka (12:13:59 PM): lol
benofsherwood (12:14:02 PM): evil

anyway, i need to go practice now, me shall write something more interesting later. or shall try to anyway.......

once again i just can't get it straight/ wondering if wandering is my fate/ but don't lose hope in me quite yet/ cause help must be on the way, any day