YAHRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yahrrr! today be talk like a pahrett day.... and me am speakingg in a 'eavy brogue..... onliest way fer yous ta know is ter wraht it all wid really weird spellings.... so ah come off as seeming retarded........ or sumthin. er, yah..... no wait, yahrrr, hehehe! daw crap.... me mind is crumbling and ah cain't think o' nuthin ter be saying..... haaaa, cain't take this! ah just cain't keep up this pahrett thang..... rawr. well, ok, normalness again, yesss! soooo...... ha.... i been thinkin alot.... bout all kinds of stuff, if you can't tell by reading the total randomness of my posts.... gah! no! here i was actually about to write about something.... cuz i really feel i need to, and then i panicked and couldn't! grrrr, i haven't talked to anyone about this yet..... but i really want to.... but it's like if i do, then there's no hiding from it, like i kinda am right now, which is silly. it's just that this is one of the hardest things for me to talk about. with anyone. ha, and i'm still not talking about it......ergblah..... ok, so, it has to do with my Neurosurgeon appointment.... in a way it freed me.... cuz i had known.... but now it wasn't just me....... but..... it makes me kinda scared...... and i'm being totally vague, i know...... darn. ehehhh, i think i just need to talk with someone about it..... actually voice it all, and then in a way, i'll feel better, and will be able to talk about it more. i should shut up now.... lol. i shall end by putting up the lyrics for the song i've got on here.
"rows and flows of angel hair/ and ice cream castles in the air/ and feather canyons everywhere/ i've looked at clouds that way
but now they only block the sun/ they rain and snow on everyone/ so many things i would have done/ but clouds got in my way
i've looked at clouds from both sides now/ from up and down, and still somehow/ it's cloud illusions i recall/ i really don't know clouds at all
moons and junes and ferris wheels/ the dizzy dancing way that you feel/ as every fairy tale comes real/ i've looked at love that way
but now it's just another show/ and you leave em laughing when you go/ and if you care, don't let them know/ don't give yourself away
i've looked at love from both sides now/ from give and take, and still somehow/ it's love's illusions i recall/ i really don't know love/ really don't know love at all
tears and fears and feeling proud/ to say "i love you" right out loud/ dreams and schemes and circus crowds/ i've looked at life that way/
oh but now old friends they're acting strange/ and they shake their heads/ and they tell me that i've changed/ well something's lost but something's gained/ in living everyday
i've looked at life from both sides now/ from win and lose and still somehow/ it's life's illusions i recall/ i really don't know life at all/ it's life's illusions i recall/ i really don't know life/ i really don't know life at all"