felt like writing...... but somehow now i can't think of what to say..... ha, i may just resort to using song lyrics. so many songs that seem to say what i'm thinking and feeling right now. i feel like i'm such a mess right now, such a mish-mash of emotions in me, and they don't mix that well. i'm depressed, slightly angry, but guiltily so, feeling overwhelmed, scared, nervous, and yet, in the midst of all that, there's this hope in me, this excitement..... this strange happiness..... when i think about it i feel all my bubbleyness come back, and more...... i hope i'm not imagining it..... and in all that, somehow i'm still for the most part my weird crazy self..... don't know how that works. ah weel. haha, the prospect of using song lyrics is just too tempting, so 'ats enough o' dat, don't want to work at trying to figure myself out. at least not right now. so here ya go! here are some lyrics that at least somewhat capture what i'm feeling and thinking right now.
what's this life anyway/ what's it to you and me/ what's it to anyone/ who are we supposed to be/ make me a storybook/ write me away from here/ i need a different now
where we can wear each other for awhile/ i'll lend you my tears if i could borrow a smile/ i'll get through tomorrow somehow today/ happy after....
drowning in my loneliness/ how long must i hold my breath/ so much emptyness inside i could fill the deepest sea/ i reach to the sky as the moon looks on/................/ can you turn my black roses red?
oooh, at times i felt like i had lost myself/ cause people try to make you someone else/ i had to learn to trust my heart so/ things can change
i came to a point where i could speak my mind/ and not feel i'm living in a box and keep the girl i am concealed/ oooh i finally found the strength so i can leave that all behind
this is my time to shine/ this is my place to find all that i have inside i never knew/ this is my time to show/ what i must have always known that nothing's impossible/ and dreams come true
i used to think that i could not go on/ and life was nothing but an awful song/......../ i believe i can fly/ i believe i can touch the sky/ i think about it every night and day/ spread my wings and fly away/ i believe i can soar/ i see me running through that open door/ i believe i can fly
the road is long- it twists and turns/ but everything in life you live and learn/ no one ever said that life was easy or that all in love is fair...
why can't i breathe whenever i think about you/ why can't i speak whenever i talk about you/..... why can't i breathe whenever i think about you..........
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