ah poo, y do we need these titles anyway?

haaaaaaaa, me am tired........ i had an awesome weekend! see, being homeschooled, it's very hard to be with people. it's always been hard for me to just be with people, and talk with them, and make friends, cuz i never get chances to be with em. but things have been getting better. esp. since i started youth group. ha, but now, i'm so insanely busy! school, work, practicing, orchestras, youth group.... all that stuff. but this weekend, i was able to free up so i could spend the evening Friday and all day Saturday at the Greenier home with Sarah!!!!! it was so awesome! i love her, so glad i'm becoming good friends with her! the whole family is amazing, see usually, it's kinda hard for me to be with friends families, at least the first time i'm with them, but with them, i can be however the heck i want to be, just be my crazy evil self, and fit in just fine! anyway, it was awesome, i went on my first ever picnic! can you believe it? i'd never been on a picnic before!!! :O Sarah, Julia, and i went on a long bike ride and a picnic, so awesome! i love to bike, i just never ever do it. see, we don't live in the type of area where you can bike. i mean, there's our half mile street, which i used to bike on years ago, but i haven't in the longest time. "oh, oh, oh, for the longest time...." it was awesome, i loved it. i need to buy a bike before college, and i'm gonna get into riding more now! oh boy, ehh, my right eye is like, prickling.... or something...... and randomly watering.... it's really weird..... stop it! rawr! "i'm a craaaazy rabid squirrel!" hehehe! yah yah, i'm a squirrel. i mean, just watch Over the Hedge, and Hoodwinked, but esp. Over the Hedge, i am so def a squirrel! :P anyway, tired. need sleep, if you can't tell by my random babblings. heeeeee! but on a more serious note, i'm pretty confused right now, "why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?" eheh.... mrph..... i don't understand....... "why, why, why, does it go this way. why, why, why, and all i can say is, somewhere down the road, there'll be answers to the questions. somewhere down the road, though we cannot see it now. somewhere down the road, you will find mighty arms reaching for you. and they will have the answers, at the end of the road." meh. this is so weird. i thought i had finally figured things out, figured myself out, thought i knew what was going on, where things were going, but now... i dunno.... somehow i'm all confused. grrrrrrrr. i wish i could understand.... that someone would be my hero and explain everything, make it all better. "and then a hero comes along, with the strength to carry on, and you cast your fears aside, and you know you can survive." rawr! this is frustrating! i don't like being so helpless.... and not understanding anything..... i can think of something that would make it all better, but who knows if ever....... meh. ha, yah..... as Ben would say, i need help. yah..... i really do..... why do i have to think so much? i need to learn to be patient and wait til things happen, wait til the right time and everything. "hold on, but don't hold too tight. let go, it's going to be alright, don't run away from what your heart is sayin. oh be strong, and face what you're afraid of. come on, show em what you're made of. i know it's hard when your hope is gone, but you've gotta keep holdin on." meh meh meh. ha, i shouldn't be listening to this playlist.... just feeding my mood, and getting totally depressed. not good. i need to stop writing and do something productive..... like practice......yeah...... cept i prolly won't.... i'll prolly sit here wishing someone would come online and talk with me..... cuz i'm not the brightest person. rats, ha, i know this is bad, i keep running myself into the dirt, and i know i shouldn't, and should stop, but i'm slightly depressed and can't.